Simple Living Diary

Last night, right before I dozed off, a horrible thought ran through my head about being on the AZT ! What if I start my period during the night, asleep, in my tent, in the dark, where creatures that want to eat me lurk, where I can't find anything quickly and I'm completely out of my element? My tent is a backpacking tent - you can't stand up in it.  So doing anything that involves pulling down my pants will be done somewhere away from camp, well away from my tent.  This involves the messy matters of my monthly. I know what you're thinking, don't you track when Aunt Flo should be coming and prepare?  I do and for the last few months she comes whenever she pleases.  It was one more thing the Perimenopausal Welcome Committee sent me.  Because the massive mood swings and blood like I was losing gallons a day wasn't enough. Yep.  I'm worried about my monthly on the trail.  This is what I'm losing sleep over. Not mountain lions, rattlesnak...

Ok, here it goes. Once a month, usually for a day I get BAT-SHIT-CRAZY. Really.  This is no joke. A couple of months ago I was so hurt, angry and hopeless I wished I would die the pain was so horrible in my head. That's an extreme. Typically I'm super grumpy and feel like I want to punch walls and people out.  I don't, FYI. What the heck is happening? It's my hormones.   It started a couple of years ago, the VERY STRONG emotions right before my period.  It took me a few months to understand this was something happening on a regular basis, each month, and during my monthly cycle.  I thought I was just an angry woman going crazy after my divorce and becoming an empty nester.  Huge life changes like that can make your a little angry and anxious for sure. Luckily I started seeing a pattern. I took action.  I thought, "How can I make this stop?"  I hate what I think and sometimes do during this time of the month. Digging a...