I read an article on Medium yesterday about dating in your 50's called My Problem with First Dates and Fifty-Something-Year-Old Men.
This reminded me of the few dating months I experienced years ago.
I dated 5 men starting about 6 months after my divorce was official. I dated for about 8 months or so then stopped - cold turkey style.
That was 5 years ago. Since then I've had NO INTEREST in dating or meeting anyone new at all. That includes female friendships.
When I made this decision I felt selfish. I wanted life for a while to be all about ME. Is that so bad?
I wanted to explore who I am. Taking off from about 21 years of age when I was last officially single and see who the hell I was then, for the last 30+ years and who I want to be.
This was around the same time I started my simple living journey.
I just wanted life for me to be simple for a while. I needed to be only in my head; I couldn't have anyone else cloud who I was or what I thought.
There's also mending to be done in my current relationships with my kids and loved ones. To start a new relationship would take from those I already care for.
Back to the article.
Reading it made me uncomfortable. I really, really dislike first dates or any type of meetings at all. I'm a deeply rooted introvert. I dislike chit chat and really feel the need to flee when I have to speak in front of people, even one on one. (The only time this doesn't seem to happen is when I'm hiking or outdoors. I read introverts can turn extrovert when they speak about their passions.)
The article also reminded me that I'm not ready for new relationships. I've come a long way in knowing who I am but I'm not ready to give anyone my attention just yet, that wouldn't be fair to him. I'd probably be a hesitant and a little wishy washy. And ultimately may even hate the poor guy for invading my space.
This reminded me of the few dating months I experienced years ago.
I dated 5 men starting about 6 months after my divorce was official. I dated for about 8 months or so then stopped - cold turkey style.
That was 5 years ago. Since then I've had NO INTEREST in dating or meeting anyone new at all. That includes female friendships.
When I made this decision I felt selfish. I wanted life for a while to be all about ME. Is that so bad?
I wanted to explore who I am. Taking off from about 21 years of age when I was last officially single and see who the hell I was then, for the last 30+ years and who I want to be.
This was around the same time I started my simple living journey.
I just wanted life for me to be simple for a while. I needed to be only in my head; I couldn't have anyone else cloud who I was or what I thought.
There's also mending to be done in my current relationships with my kids and loved ones. To start a new relationship would take from those I already care for.
Back to the article.
Reading it made me uncomfortable. I really, really dislike first dates or any type of meetings at all. I'm a deeply rooted introvert. I dislike chit chat and really feel the need to flee when I have to speak in front of people, even one on one. (The only time this doesn't seem to happen is when I'm hiking or outdoors. I read introverts can turn extrovert when they speak about their passions.)
The article also reminded me that I'm not ready for new relationships. I've come a long way in knowing who I am but I'm not ready to give anyone my attention just yet, that wouldn't be fair to him. I'd probably be a hesitant and a little wishy washy. And ultimately may even hate the poor guy for invading my space.
I haven’t yet read the article you referred to, but I am going to do that right now! I so feel your vibe. I feel the same. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteFor sure. The article is a great glimpse of dating at midlife, we're no longer 20 something and have way more to lose.
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