Simple Living Diary

Have you ever felt nervous , scared , excited, happy and down right crazy all at the same time? I now have officially felt these all at the same time. I've been prepping to do the Arizona Trail  and I swear I feel all these emotions and more right now. Questions and concerns have been racing through my head! Will I be ready emotionally?  Physically? Will I have all my gear?  Food?  Water? What if we can't get water on the trail?  Or it snows?  Or it's extremely hot? What if I can't sleep?  Get injured?  Run into a mountain lion? WHAT IF I NEVER DO THIS?  Because my dumb-ass was too scared? Or Nervous? I know myself, I'll talk me out of it.  And I also know that once I plan things I feel way better and end up doing it. SO I PREP FOR THE AZT I've been hiking more (and I'm tired).  Yesterday I did 7 miles with 12 pounds on my back.  I need to do more so my body doesn't go into shock with 30 pounds hanging on to it. I've bee

I did it.  I decided to backpack the AZT aka the Arizona Trail .  It's about 800 miles and will take about 2 months. Whoa! 2 months with everything I need on my back - food, water and shelter. Two months away from general civilization. They'll be people and towns along the way yet it'll be mostly dirt, plants and wildlife (hopefully just the friendly kind.) How did all this happen? If you know me, which you may not since this blog is pretty new, I LOVE to hike.  I feel empty inside when I can't hit the trail.  (Watch some of my Youtube videos  about it). But that's going out for a day and coming back home to eat and sleep in my comfy bed.  Backpacking is a whole different beast.  Yet I've wanted to do it for a few years now yet life circumstances have kept me away (selling my house, saving money, time). I'm not ready to talk about it but my sweet Maggy dog has crossed the rainbow bridge recently.  She could barely hike so backpacking with her

Ok, here it goes. Once a month, usually for a day I get BAT-SHIT-CRAZY. Really.  This is no joke. A couple of months ago I was so hurt, angry and hopeless I wished I would die the pain was so horrible in my head. That's an extreme. Typically I'm super grumpy and feel like I want to punch walls and people out.  I don't, FYI. What the heck is happening? It's my hormones.   It started a couple of years ago, the VERY STRONG emotions right before my period.  It took me a few months to understand this was something happening on a regular basis, each month, and during my monthly cycle.  I thought I was just an angry woman going crazy after my divorce and becoming an empty nester.  Huge life changes like that can make your a little angry and anxious for sure. Luckily I started seeing a pattern. I took action.  I thought, "How can I make this stop?"  I hate what I think and sometimes do during this time of the month. Digging around I found, wel

I read an article on Medium yesterday about dating in your 50's called  My Problem with First Dates and Fifty-Something-Year-Old Men . This reminded me of the few dating months I experienced years ago. I dated 5 men starting about 6 months after my divorce was official.  I dated for about 8 months or so then stopped - cold turkey style. That was 5 years ago.  Since then I've had NO INTEREST in dating or meeting anyone new at all.  That includes female friendships. When I made this decision I felt selfish.  I wanted life for a while to be all about ME.  Is that so bad? I wanted to explore who I am.  Taking off from about 21 years of age when I was last officially single and see who the hell I was then, for the last 30+ years and who I want to be. This was around the same time I started my simple living journey . I just wanted life for me to be simple for a while.  I needed to be only in my head; I couldn't have anyone else cloud who I was or what I thought.

I was never one to enjoy celebrating holidays.  Don't get me wrong when Christmas or Thanksgiving come along I'm chilling with my kids with the whole dinner layout. Yet for most holidays I feel like I'm being forced (by marketing and ad agencies) to be kind and generous. I'd rather celebrate good qualities like kindness, compassion and love everyday rather than when card and flower companies tell me to do so. And damn it, I'll eat chocolate everyday not just on Valentine's, Easter and Christmas. I LOVE celebrating everyday.  Is that bad? I'd prefer to give love everyday.  Or give a gift on some random day when my loved one is not expecting it. I'm sure people giving flowers and having dinner with their honeys today do show how much they care any random day.  I do hope so.  I hope I'm not coming across as a cynical, cold-hearted bitch.  I guess I just don't like when I feel like corporations run my life.  Don't let my "

Yesterday I hiked.  It felt glorious! I try to hike 3-4 times a week with a couple of short hikes at 3-4 miles and one long one on Saturday of at least 5-6 miles. I was the only one on the trail and that's how it usually is at the park I frequent.  It's a national recreation area more known for boating than hiking by far.  As a matter of fact I was talking to the attendant at the front gate one day and she told me "we're not really known for our hiking". LOL. But that is what I DO.  What I need to keep me sane and physically healthy.  I freaking LOVE hiking!  I've never been this into something in my life.  During my marriage years I had children and they were my life.  I volunteered for scouts and parent's club.  (Funny, I hated parents club but loved scouts, maybe because I could be outside.) Then my divorce happen 5 years ago and my kids live on their own.  WTH would I do with my free time? I did take up running for a bit and actu

Yesterday I had a sorta breakdown. I cried on and off all day.  Grieving about the inevitable. My dog, Maggy, was diagnosed with cancer recently.  She has a growth around her lymph node, which protrudes from her neck. and tongue that is inoperable.  We started chemotherapy a week ago yet yesterday I noticed her lump on her neck had grown, she had barely any energy to walk and she wouldn't yawn, meaning she was too uncomfortable to open her mouth. Maggy is 14 and since my divorce 5 years ago she has grown to be my close buddy.  She did almost everything with me.  We hiked 3-4 days a week, we hung out at the park, we walked everyday and any vacation revolved around being able to take her .  It's just her and I. Needless to say this illness is stressful. And yesterday hit me hard. I have my Personal Core Values , which help me create a more simple life, to fall back on during good times and bad yet this day really took its toll on me.  I also have my best friend and

It's been a few years now that I decided to let go of my chaotic ways to seek a simpler life .  I now feel compelled to tell my story. Let me start with what simple living means to me. Letting go of the complicated.    These are things like grudges, consumerism, and excess.  Our human "fixes" to what hurts us cause even more hurt and emptiness, perpetuating the horrible cycle.  I recognise that and let it go.  I choose instead a life where I strive for forgiveness and letting go of harsh feelings and ideals. Accepting that there is no such thing as perfection.    We're human, it simply doesn't exist.  I stopped trying to live perfectly.  This ideal has led me to being more comfortable with who I am, especially at midlife. Creating my own Personal Core Values I developed my own mission statement of things I value most in life.  When I make decisions I look to my core values to help me make up my mind. Nevermind the naysayers There's alw